Sh*t I wonder...while playing Mass Effect

Mass Effect is one of the greatest games of this gaming generation, but sometimes I can't help but think of more randomness.  So once again, welcome to my twisted mind.  This post may contain SPOILERS!

1.  Does the Asari race have any dudes?  If yes, where are they?
         
2.  Did Joker and Edi ever get to consummate their relationship?  Did they use the headgear thingy from Demolition Man to do it?

3.  With all of the women/men Commander Sheppard has slept with, whose the best real life comparison? Wilt Chamberlain, Ron Jeremy/Jenna Jameson, or Shawn Kemp?

4.  Is it me or does the Normandy look eerily similar to the female reproductive system?  Was this done on purpose because of all the space sex

Sh*t I wonder...while playing The Walking Dead

So obviously The Walking Dead has been super popular (whether we're talking about the comic, AMC show, or video game) with droves of people; however, I'm always thinking about the most random shit.  So I figured I might as well let you into my twisted mind with my first entry in Shit I wonder...

Shit I wonder while watching/playing The Walking Dead.

1.       Why aren’t there any zombie animals?  Are animals immune?

a.       If so, why aren’t they doing some research to find out why?

2.       How do zombies determine when to run vs. walk when hunting for prey?

3.       And since zombies don’t eat each other, do we still call it cannibalism?

4.       And since they don’t eat each other, would they eat a freshly dead person or is that taboo?

5.       If babies are born still born, do they become zombies too? Or are they not infected yet?

 6.     And most importantly, do zombies poop?  I mean, how else are they able to keep eating?

Top Games of 2012

2012 brought us gamers a hell of a year for gaming and I'm here to bring you the top games.  Per usual, I only bring you the games that I've had the chance to play so unfortunately Halo 4 and Hitman Absolution didn't make the cut.  Can't get to them all...sorry.

*Honorable mention

Call of Duty: Black Ops 2
Treyarch
11/13/12


Color me surprised to have listed a Call of Duty game in my top 10, but dammit there is no denying that this game is fun as hell.  And at the end of the day, isn’t that what games are all about?  I’ve always equated CoD to summer blockbusters, which are usually mindless explosions and paper thin plots, but who didn’t love The Avengers? CoD hasn’t been known for having an engrossing story, if anything the switching between characters each mission caused for a more disjointed story.  This time around I felt the story to be more streamlined and dare I say it, intriguing. Most action films/games are only as good as their villain and Raul Menendez may be one of the most diabolical villains to ever grace a game!  Most of you won’t even know who I’m talking about because you’re only interested in the multiplayer and fortunately Treyarch didn’t rest on its laurels.  Now given that I suck, it’s good to still be rewarded with customizable loadouts and perks even though I usually had a higher death ratio than anyone.  Zombies also return with the same frantic pace and at times it felt like the game was mirroring the Left 4 Dead series.




#10

NBA 2K13
Visual Concepts
10/2/12


Now being that I’m an avid sports gamer (sports nut in general) I wanted to leave this off the list, but it’s my list and I can do whatever I want.  Plus, how can you deny a game that trumped it predecessor in every way possible.  Sound familiar?  It should if you read my Top 10 for 2011.  You’ll see and hear Jay-Z’s footsteps all over this game as he is touted as being Executive Producer, with the biggest effect being one of the best soundtracks ever.  You may have also heard that Jay-Z helped bring the entire Dream Team together for the first time since ’92.  The biggest gameplay change for 2K13 would be the Shot Stick being retrofitted with Iso-moves.  This was a big change but fortunately with a press of the LT, you were able to go from a killer crossover to a pull up jumper incredibly smoothly.  As I wrote earlier, with the help of a frantic fan base the original Dream Team was included so we could shut LeBron and Kobe up and have the 2012 team vs the 1992 team.  MyPlayer was also blown out into the new MyCareer mode which allowed for greater interaction.  Feel like your PG is ball hoggin?  You can go to the GM and air out your grievances and demand he be traded or else.  Sports nut or not this game is stupidly good and had to make the list.





#9

The Witcher 2:Assassin of Kings
CD Projekt RED
April 17, 2012


The Witcher 2 was originally released in 2011 on PC, but didn’t get its port release until 2012 on consoles.  As a fan of RPG’s I couldn’t have been more excited for its release.  Fortunately, the wait was well worth it.  Geralt of Rivia is a compelling character and like all great RPG’s choice, character development, and storyline keep you coming back.  Not to spoil anything, but early in the game you’re tasked with making a decision that will affect the rest of the game and story.  This isn’t a choice of being good vs. evil, but more so of a moral choice from the gamer.  Now obviously story alone won’t get you into the Top 10, so fortunately Witcher 2 also employs fun and varied combat.  Being that Geralt is a witcher (think Wolverine’s feral rage, Dr. Stange’s mysticism, and Blade’s swordsmanship) you’re given a bevy of tools to dispatch your foes.  Whether you’re lopping off heads with your swords, setting foes ablaze with magical powers, or using cunning to set traps before battle Witcher 2 plays with simplicity and a gorgeous flare.  Oh and by the way, Geralt is a bit of a pimp and lays waste to many a women as well.






#8

Assassin’s Creed III
Ubisoft Montreal
10/30/12


Assassin’s Creed: Revalations not only made it in the Top 10 last year, but clocked in at #4 for 2011.  Although AC3, isn’t ranking high this year it’s at no way a knock on this game.  In AC3, we get to see the completion of our Animus visiting protagonist Desmond Miles all the while introducing new assassin Ratonhnhaké:ton aka Connor.  Connor is a half English, half Mohawk assassin whose sole purpose is to protect his people and land from the Templar’s.  Oh did I mention that this game takes place during the American Revolution?  As far as gameplay this game plays very similar to the past entries; however Connor is more adept at using multiple weapons in conjunction with his hidden blade leading to a much more brutal assassin.  Throw in the awesome naval battles and you’re in for a truly epic adventure.





#7

Sleeping Dogs
United Front Games/SquareEnix London Studios
8/14/12


It took me awhile to get my hands on this game, but once I did I couldn’t put it down!  The world in Sleeping Dogs always felt alive, from the small markets to Downtown Hong Kong (which few open world games can capture) and the game world was surprisingly large.  It did take a while to get used to driving on the left side of the road, but Square Enix was able to provide a very intuitive driving scheme (and fortunately very forgiving police A.I.).  Wei Shen is a very compelling character and thanks to some impressive voice work (and thankfully subtitles for the Cantonese/English hybrid dialog) each character hits their mark.  Saving the best for last, the combat is fast and furious with the majority of my time spent in hand to hand combat.  Here is where the game shines, borrowing from Batman, the combat is smooth, simplistic, and very brutal with Wei able to break many a thugs bones and use environmental attacks to his advantage.  This “reboot” of the True Crime series spent a lot of time in developmental hell, but fortunately it got to see the light of day so don’t miss out on one of the better games of 2012



#6



Max Payne 3
Rockstar Studios
5/15/12


Max Payne has always had the John McClane trait of “wrong place, wrong time” going for him and even when he's in the tropical and very dangerous Sao Paulo. Max continues to find trouble where ever he’s at.  Max Payne has been on the shelves for many years and Rockstar Studios (Red Dead Redemption, Grand Theft Auto, and L.A. Noire) has taken the reigns and right out of the box you can see their expertise shine.  Max is the originator of Bullet Time (think John Woo film sans the doves) and to spice it up Rockstar has included a kill cam that shows all the gory details such as noses getting blowing off, eyeballs being shot through, and repeated groin shots.  Rockstar once again excels at treating the user on an epic story (one usually predicated on redemption) but unlike most of their usual adventures, Max Payne is a more linear experience.  This doesn’t damper the experience at all; in fact it allows their story telling ability to shine.  Max Payne was critically underplayed in 2012, so if you’re one who missed this game don’t waste any more time and pick this up NOW!





#5

Borderlands 2
Gearbox Software
9/18/12


If you played Borderlands then you know what you’re in for with Borderlands 2 and if not then in a word: GUNS.  Borderlands 2 may not have the most elegant plot or brimming with character development, but that is NOT what this game is pinning to be.  In their simplest form, games are meant for entertainment and entertain it does.  Borderlands 2 is filled with almost a billion different guns, yes I said a billion!  Outsiders believe Borderlands 2 is just a shooter, but in all actuality it’s a RPG as well.  I sold my brother on this game in less than five minutes of playing co-op and being that its four player co-op gives you the chance to get your friends in on the gunplay.  This game is incredibly fun and at the end of the day, that is all that matters.






#4

Dishonored
Arkane Studios
10/9/12


It’s not often that a new product can be released during the middle of a console’s life and make waves, but that’s exactly what Dishonored did.  I’ve ranted and raved about games that put control in the player’s hand and Dishonored may become the epitome of player control.  Like Deus Ex and Crysis before it, you’re given an objective but the completion of said task is completely up to you.  If you feel like laying waste to all of your enemies then you’re able to build your Corvo Attano (the protagonist) to be an unstoppable juggernaut; however if you want to stick to the shadows you’re more than able to do so.  I was pleasantly surprised when I was given the option to either kill the boss or not, unlike Deus Ex last year all the bosses were killed.  The tension of sneaking into a mansion to assassinate a dignitary is already intense, but to top that off with dragging said baddie off to the torture chamber for added espionage is incredibly satisfying. If you’re a fan of BioShock, Deus Ex, or Crysis then you’d be in sore shape if you don’t add this game to your collection soon.





#3

Far Cry 3
Ubisoft Montreal
12/4/12


So Far Cry has been kicking ass with reviewers everywhere…even getting praise and comparison to my 2011 GOY Skyrim!  Talk about huge shoes to fill!  I can say that the praise is warranted without a doubt and from the outset of the game the tension picks up and never relents.  The beauty of the game is brought to life by the stunning opening cinematic that literally brings you hurtling into the perilous predicament surrounding our hero, Jason Brody.  The world of Rook Island is huge and is filled with wildlife that is useful to your progression but can also be extremely dangerous.  Like AC3, hunting can be very beneficial through the crafting system to expand your toolset; however in FC3, hunting is much more dangerous.  Two of my most memorable non-story moments from the game came from hunting (sort of).  The first came when I was trying to capture a supply depot and I was sneaking up a freaking tiger pounced on me and tried to maul me!  So I abandoned my sneak attack and ran like hell to the depot while the tiger gave chase and let my enemies just kill each other while I picked off the leftovers.  The second came right after I secured a radio tower (think Assassin’s Creed’s version of eagle towers) I pulled out my camera to survey the land before zip lining down.  So this time I got to see another tiger preparing to pounce, this time on an unsuspecting buffalo.  Far Cry 3 is full of intrigue, tension, and WTF moments and you’d be pissed if you didn’t get your hands on this game.





#2

The Walking Dead: The Game
Telltale Game
5 part series from April to November


When discussing this game it’s hard to gush and rant on for hours.  TWD isn’t your run of the mill zombie game (nor is this AMC show of the same name) it is about survival.  Telltale designed this game in a five part episodic format that can be easily described as a “Choose Your Own Adventure,” in which the actions you make transfer and mold the story.  What makes this game so fantastic is the heart wrenching story it delivers from beginning to end.  As the game starts you get to see and hear the outbreak as it beings and more importantly you begin your relationship with Clemintine.  Clem isn’t a love interest or a direct relative of Lee, but the bond that is created throughout their adventure is mesmerizing.  Next to Mass Effect 3, I don’t recall caring for other character’s as much as I did while playing.  When I first heard about TWD, I was a little nervous because I was so invested in the TV show, but once I found out this was tied to the comic I was all in.  TWD has been on cloud nine for some time winning award after award and without a doubt this game deserves all of its praise.  Even if you’re not into the show (or comic) as a gamer this is a must have!





#1 GAME OF THE YEAR

Mass Effect 3
BioWare
March 6, 2012


Since Mass Effect’s arrival in 2007, I’ve been effectively hooked!  Each iteration topped the previous, but ME3 far surpasses the other versions in every way.  The first two games both felt like RPG’s with shooter elements, but ME3 was finally able to meld the two together for a near perfect experience.  As many of you know ME3 had its share of issues, from Day-1 DLC to ending the trilogy properly (at least in the fans eyes); but you would be daft to let any of those issues deter you from this game.  If you haven’t noticed, I effin love this game (and series) as I’ve written about it so often! Before ME3 even came out I knew it was going to get my Game of the Year and at no point was I disappointed in my experiences.  Just like any trilogy, my worst nightmare was seeing the end of these characters’ story.  What makes this game so special is the way BioWare has been able to include all of the character choices seamlessly into the next game.  Within this game, there were a number of times when the story was able to fully engulf me to the point where I lost myself in the game.  This feat is aided by awesome voicework and an amazing cast to round out the experience.  So if you haven’t played ME3 or any of the ME games, don’t fret BioWare has released the trilogy in a bundle for only $59.99.  Don’t miss out on one of the best games/series of our generation!

Live action Toy Story = pure nostalgia

If you haven't seen this movie then stop what you're doing and prepare for a treat. Jesse Perrotta, 21, and Jonason Pauley, 19, both of Arizona, spent two years creating a shot-for-shot remake of Toy Story  I know this has nothing to do with video games, but sometimes awesomeness trumps everything else. And plus for many, video games can easily take one back to a simpler time of youth and innocence which is exactly what I feel when watching Toy Story.

Changing TV into games...I know I'm not the only one.

So I’ve been told many times, on numerous occasions that I have problems (mostly by my wife) and honestly it’s true.  Last night, I was blankly staring in the direction of the TV and noticed that Beauty and the Beast was abusing my retinas; so instead of changing the channel I just started to imagine it was a video game. I know, I know I have problems!  I might be the only person who does this, but I find myself engaged in a lot of TV shows with the mindset that BioWare or Telltale Games has created a diagram tree tailored for personal viewing.  

This quirk, or whatever you want to call it, also had me thinking about what shows (Supernatural duh) have the potential to make a really awesome game.  I know it’s weird, but I’ve already admitted to having problems; however, doing this can make even the worst show more intriguing.  Remember in Mass Effect, when your dialogue choices would determine the fate of one of your squadmates, no? You’ve never played the original Mass Effect?  Well, let’s assume that you have (or view this) and apply that same tension and quick decision making to regular TV and you’ve got a great night in store.  Granted the majority of your enjoyment is coming from imaginary decisions made, but who cares!  Next time you’re stuck watching some awful show, try this out and I guarandamntee that you’ll enjoy whatever crap is on immensely more.

On This Day, January 1st! Happy New Year's

January 1^st, New Year’s Day, is the day when many people have made many resolutions that won’t be kept.  For those same people, it’s also a day of recovering from excessive partying and drinking with family, friends, and/or strangers.  For myself, it’s a little different story…I’m usually at home hanging with kids; but not as a punishment, more so because my oldest son’s birthday is today.  Being that he’s 7 years old today boggles my mind, but I also know that sooner rather than later he will not want to spend his New Year’s with his parents.  So not only are we celebrating a new year, I want to wish my son a Happy 7^th birthday!  Here are some other major events:

Paul Revere in AC3

1735 Paul Revere, American patriot, was born

1752 Betsy Ross, American seamstress, was born

1773 The hymn that became known as "Amazing Grace", then titled "1 Chronicles 17:16–17" is first used to accompany a sermon led by John Newton in the town of Olney, England.

1788 First edition of The Times of London, previously The Daily Universal Register, is published.

1804 French rule ends in Haiti. Haiti becomes the first black republic and second independent country in North America after the United States

1806 The importation of slaves into the United States is banned.

1863 American Civil War: The Emancipation Proclamation takes effect in Confederate territory

1885 Twenty-five nations adopt Sandford Fleming's proposal for standard time (and also, time zones)

1902 The first American college football bowl game, the Rose Bowl between Michigan and Stanford, is held in Pasadena, California

1908 For the first time, a ball is dropped in New York, New York's Times Square to signify the start of the New Year at midnight.

1927 Doak Walker, American football star, was born

1934 Nazi Germany passes the "Law for the Prevention of Genetically Diseased Offspring".

1944 “The Mouth of The South” Jimmy Hart, American wrestling manager, was born

1954 NBC makes the first coast-to-coast NTSC color broadcast when it telecast the Tournament of Roses Parade, with public demonstrations given across the United States on prototype color receivers.

1959 Fulgencio Batista, dictator of Cuba, is overthrown by Fidel Castro's forces during the Cuban Revolution.

1961 Sam Palahnuk, American video game designer for Sega Genesis, was born

1962 United States Navy SEALs established.

1983 The ARPANET officially changes to using the Internet Protocol, creating the Internet.

1998 Quake is released on Nintendo 64.

2006 Jason, American awesome kid, was born