Showing posts with label Mass Effect. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mass Effect. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

The Tournament of Couples...The Jolie-Pitt region


In February, I wrote a post for Valentine’s Day about the greatest video game couples.  During that entire process I kept going back to and thinking about the best couples of all time.  But video games don’t necessarily have that many couples to merit a bracket tourney.  Well with the evolution of Apollo’s Gamedom on the horizon, I’m going to give you a sneak peak at what’s to come…here’s the Tournament of the Couples TV/Movie/Video game bracket tournament.

We’re going with a 64 couple single elimination tournament that YOU will be voting on each week starting today.  After each week, I will update the bracket accordingly and the voting will begin again and so on and so forth.

The couples were selected by my team of avid gamers and film/TV watchers; however the seedings were selected by me after arduous research and viewings.  In reality, I just picked the most popular and went from there, but it’s my tourney and I do as I please.  Even though many shows will live on forever through syndication, I’m only including couples from my generation as well.

SPOILERS to follow!
(AND YES IT HAS BEEN OVER A MONTH, BUT I WAS HAVING ISSUES WITH THE POLLS, BUT THANKS FOR YOUR PATIENCE)

THE JOLIE-PITT REGION


§  Mario and Peach are the OG's of video game love!  I mean forget bringing chocolates; Mario's willing to eat magic mushrooms, flowers, and feathers to save his love.  As a whole fellas we can't compare to Mario, but don't be afraid to follow suit and definitely don't be afraid to eat giant mushrooms so you can "grow!"  Mario has endured many a hater trying to steal his woman; a tie wearing gorilla, a giant fire-breathing tortoise, and an evil doppelganger.  But through and through Mario always comes to the rescue of his Peach.
Vs.
§  Alex and Whitney are currently played by Whitney Cummings and Chris D’Elia [EDITOR’S NOTE: Whitney was cancelled after season 2].  The reason the committee and I chose these two is solely because these two remind me of my relationship with my wife.  Their constant banter and wit is almost identical to that of my household, so that is the truth behind this inclusion.

§  Steve Urkel and Laura Winslow were played by Jaleel White and Kellie Shangnye Williams.  Urkel is the epitome of an underdog.  For years, Steve pledged his love for Laura but it was never reciprocated…well at least not for years and years.  First he went through a scientific makeover for her, which failed, and even tired dating other women, which also failed.  Finally, Laura realized that the man of her dreams was there from the beginning.  The moral of the story is that women don’t know what they want…but seriously Steve knew that he and Laura were meant to be and his determination leads to them finally getting engaged.
Vs.
§  David Silver and Donna Martin were played by David Austin Green and Tori Spelling.  High school relationships hardly ever last, but David and Donna were able to make it through the high school drama, the collegiate partying, and the corporate backstabbing to marry.

§  Jesse Katsopolis and Rebecca Donaldson-Katsopolis were played by John Stamos and Lori Loughlin.  Although initially guarded towards her feelings for Jesse, Rebecca finally gives in to her feelings.  Plus how many women can say to no to the front man of Jesse and the Rippers?  Plus any man willing to stay with his brother-in-law and help him raise his kids is A+ in my book!
Vs.
§  Spock and Nyota Ohura are being played by Zachary Quinto and Zoe Saldana.  Spock is half Vulcan-half human so if you think interracial dating is hard, try inter-species dating.

§  Phillip and Vivian Banks were played by James Avery and Janet Hubert-Whitten and Daphne Maxwell Reid.  As you can see Aunt Viv was played by two different actresses, but that didn’t diminish the power of the Banks’.   Uncle Phil and Aunt Viv was a major power couple in every single way (no matter the actress involved).
Vs.
§  Martin and Gina Payne were played by Martin Lawrence and Tisha Campbell.  No matter the situation, Gina always stuck by her man.  Even if he was getting knocked out by Tommy “Hitman” Hearns or bickering with her best friend, Pam, Gina took pride in her relationship.

§  Jerry Maguire and Dorothy Boyd were played by Tom Cruise and Renee Zellwiger.  Let’s just get it out there…Dorothy Boyd is a ride-or-die chick!  She left her FULL TIME job to help Jerry start up his agency.  She had me at quit “her FULL TIME job.”
Vs.
§  Rocky and Adrian Balboa were played by Sylvester Stallone and Talia Shire.  Being married to a professional athlete is a job within itself, especially with one who gets punched repeatedly for a living.

§  Carl and Harriette Winslow were played by Reginald VelJohnson and Jo Marie Peyton.  Like most of the couples mentioned, C&H are great for each other in the way they complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses.  This can be seen in their child rearing, household management, and dealing with Steve Urkel.  If not for Harriette, Carl would likely have killed Steve…and I’m sure he would’ve gotten away with it being a Chicago police officer.
Vs.
§  Commander Sheppard could be any of us and the romantic choices he makes are all based on the choices you make throughout your journey.  And honestly with all the options out in this game, fortunately there are no wrong choices.

§  Derwin Davis and Melanie Barnett-Davis were played by Pooch Hall and Tia Mowry.  Many young couples face numerous obstacles together; however, when you add in the rigors of becoming a pro football player, moving across country, and trying to become a doctor you’re almost asking for a disaster.  Fortunately, these two were able to find their balance as a couple and live their lives “normally ever after.”
Vs.
§  Women have a tendency to believe they have the power to change a man, luckily for Belle she did have that power.  Belle and the Beast have seen numerous incarnations, but no matter the form their unwavering love for each other is apparent.

§  Zack Morris and Kelly Kapowski were played by Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Tiffani-Amber Thiessen. Zack and Kelly had an on again-off again relationship throughout high school and college, but remained friends at all times.  Although at times it seemed as if they were destined for splitsville their love kept them close and they eventually married in Las Vegas during college.  I do wonder why no one ever questioned Zack about his cardboard cutout of Kelly…strange much!?!
Vs.
§  Cedric and Lovita were played by Cedric the Entertainer and Terri J. Vaughn.  Its always said that there is no one in the world for everyone and these two are the epitome of that!  To say that these two are a special kind of “special” would be an understatement; however, they’re perfect for each other.

Check out the winners of the first round in The Obama Region!

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Video game couples: Valentine's Day for all

Can you feel the love tonight…something, something, something.  I don't really know the lyrics but today is Valentine's Day.  Today is a day full of love, romance, and who am I kidding…today is just another made up holiday in which Hallmark and women are the only winners!
But I'm going to put my hatred of Valentine's Day to the side and put together a list of some of my favorite video game couples.
SPOILERS AHEAD!

Tidas and Yuna (FFX)
                Square has a knack for heartwarming and tragic relationships and Tidas and Yuna are definitely reppin' the latter.  Tidas was able to traverse time and space a la John Carter to find his true love.  Now unfortunately he was destined to become that world's next villain; however Yuna's love was able to keep Tidas from becoming Sin.  It didn't stop him from disappearing but hey at least he wasn't Sin incarnate.

Cloud and Tifa (FFVII)
What guy hasn't pretended to be something they're not, just to get in good with a girl?  I've been with my wife almost 10 years and I'm still pretending like I'm cool!  Sure Cloud was pretending to be Zach, but that was because of memory problems.  Nevertheless, Tifa stood by him and helped him regain his memory and helped him save the world!  Now that is a "Round the way" girl.

Dominic and Maria Santiago (GoW 2)
                As any married man will tell you…there are no limits when it comes to family.  Those limits become slightly easier to overcome when you have a chainsaw mounted to your assault rifle.  Unfortunately, their onscreen time is cut short…being that fact that Maria is captured and tortured by the Locust and Dom shoots her.  But right before he shoots her, he gets to see her one last time in her "beautiful," natural state.  Its also possible Dom was hallucinating from toxin gas in the cave.

Mario and Princess Peach
                Mario and Peach are the OG's of video game love!  I mean forget bringing chocolates; Mario's willing to eat magic mushrooms, flowers, and feathers to save his love.  As a whole fellas we can't compare to Mario, but don't be afraid to follow suit and definitely don't be afraid to eat giant mushrooms so you can "grow!"  Mario has endured many a hater trying to steal his woman; a tie wearing gorilla, a giant fire-breathing tortoise, and an evil doppelganger.  But none of his haters can hold him back!

Commander Sheppard and Ashley Williams (Mass Effect)
                Space…the final frontier!  Oops wrong sci-fi franchise.  In all seriously Commander Sheppard has kick some serious ass over and over again but he's also had his fare share of lady (alien) love.  Out of all the options, Ashley Williams provides the most earnest moments of the series.  I mean she recited William Earnest Henley's Invictus for cripes sakes.  Let's forget about Saren, the Geth, the Collectors, and even the Reapers trying to destroy everything in sight, Sheppard and Ashley eschewed Alliance protocol in order to keep their love going.

Happy Valentine's Day people!

               
               





Sunday, January 27, 2013

Sh*t I wonder...while playing Mass Effect

Mass Effect is one of the greatest games of this gaming generation, but sometimes I can't help but think of more randomness.  So once again, welcome to my twisted mind.  This post may contain SPOILERS!

1.  Does the Asari race have any dudes?  If yes, where are they?
         
2.  Did Joker and Edi ever get to consummate their relationship?  Did they use the headgear thingy from Demolition Man to do it?

3.  With all of the women/men Commander Sheppard has slept with, whose the best real life comparison? Wilt Chamberlain, Ron Jeremy/Jenna Jameson, or Shawn Kemp?


4.  Is it me or does the Normandy look eerily similar to the female reproductive system?  Was this done on purpose because of all the space sex


Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Changing TV into games...I know I'm not the only one.

So I’ve been told many times, on numerous occasions that I have problems (mostly by my wife) and honestly it’s true.  Last night, I was blankly staring in the direction of the TV and noticed that Beauty and the Beast was abusing my retinas; so instead of changing the channel I just started to imagine it was a video game. I know, I know I have problems!  I might be the only person who does this, but I find myself engaged in a lot of TV shows with the mindset that BioWare or Telltale Games has created a diagram tree tailored for personal viewing.  


This quirk, or whatever you want to call it, also had me thinking about what shows (Supernatural duh) have the potential to make a really awesome game.  I know it’s weird, but I’ve already admitted to having problems; however, doing this can make even the worst show more intriguing.  Remember in Mass Effect, when your dialogue choices would determine the fate of one of your squadmates, no? You’ve never played the original Mass Effect?  Well, let’s assume that you have (or view this) and apply that same tension and quick decision making to regular TV and you’ve got a great night in store.  Granted the majority of your enjoyment is coming from imaginary decisions made, but who cares!  Next time you’re stuck watching some awful show, try this out and I guarandamntee that you’ll enjoy whatever crap is on immensely more.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Call of Duty and Lego missing pieces on release dates


So today’s the big day! Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 comes out…YIPPE KI YAY!  Ignoring my hater-ation, COD will go on to sale HUGE and based on many of the reviews; it looks like this may be the best COD ever!  But this isn’t the case for some PC gamers, who had their second installation disk replaced with Mass Effect 2.  As much as I love the Mass Effect series, how frustrating would it be to have your game essentially hijacked? 



Don’t know how to answer that?
 
You could always ask gamers who bought XBOX 360 versions of Lego The Lord of the Rings!  These gamers were treated to demo disks instead of the full retail game. 

Precious...my precious
So I guess November 13, 2012 will go down as a huge day for gamers, but also for it’s huge gaffes in delivering said games.


UPDATE: It looks like BioWare is offering free copies of the Mass Effect Trillogy to all gamers who had their Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 replaced with ME2.  And for all of the Lego users out there, those that received demo disks instead of full retail game were given a mislabled full retail game.  So all in all looks like rainbows and butterflies after all.
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